Day 30

I’m sitting at my kids soccer practice. Having fucking conversations in my head with my therapist self.

I’m out of jolly ranchers, and I’m out…….

At this point I have intentions of leaving here and meeting my husband at the local brewery…..

It’s summer, and I love summer with all my heart….. but I’ve had this cloud for days, and I want it to go away. I want that warm, fuzzy brain. Happy, carefree, chatty me.

I have 8 min. Until practice is over

~~Therapist self, wonders why I need or want alcohol to achieve these things.

I want to knife my therapist self…..

~~Therapist self wonders how I would feel if M or N jumped off the wagon.

This isn’t about them…..

~~ Therapist self knows you, and wonders what tomorrow will bring. It’s Friday….. and what about Saturday?

Oh well, I gave it a go

~~Therapist self wonders how much guilt you will have making this decision

I don’t understand why this is a thing. WHY IS THIS A THING!!! FUCK

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8 thoughts on “Day 30

  1. First off, I accidentally swallowed a sour jolly rancher whole today. I was super disappointed cause it was a red one too. Not pink. Red. My fave!
    Second, lol!!! We all have that therapist! Some days they should be fired and some days they should get a raise. For me, tho, the fact that it’s there is evidence that I’m not drinking. Otherwise, there would be no inner monologue (dialogue?).
    Third, when I’m questioning a situation a lot, I prob should stay out of it. Lol! And if there’s already a question about guilt, I definitely should stay away. But that’s me, girly!
    Have you read “Girl, wash your face”? I think you’d like it.
    Also, you can always Snapchat filter yourself for distraction. Obviously I’ve been finding that therapeutic lately!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
    Sending love! 🥰😘🤗🥰😘🤗

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is a thing because there is this thing for “us” about alcohol that most other people don’t have, who can take it or leave it, effortlessly. Damn. Keep on keeping on. 👍💜

    Liked by 1 person

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